I would like to welcome everyone into our closet to take a peak at our skeletons and know a tiny bit about us. My goal with this blog is to never ever pretend to know anything, to never make any implications that we are perfect. We are hugely flawed, but we have come across an amazing tool in taking our own inventory and having a real clear dialogue on where each of us can improve to be a happier family. ( If you have not checked out Preston Smiles I would highly suggest you do! His outlook on taking responsibility for yourself has greatly impacted our lives). So here we go.
Matt and I met in 2004 when I was 15 years old. In 2007 at 18 years old and still in high school we moved in together and started our life together, the beginning years were tough and even hard to recount, we moved from state to state, while I struggled with anxiety and depression. After many tough years of break ups and make ups and much needed therapy, I still did not have my head on right. I wanted to blame everyone who ever did me wrong for my actions and Matt has since said there were times when he worried I was a sociopath, but through it all he stayed by my side and dug his heals in and promised that we just needed to learn to grow together. Then in late 2011 after many years of going to doctors who were quick to put me on anti-anxiety pills and send me on my way. I finally went to a new doctor, for what I thought was just an eye infection. When she saw my trembling hands she ordered a blood test and for the first time ever, we had an answer. I had Graves disease, an Autoimmune disease that causes your thyroid to rage out of control. The only solution for me, because I had gone so long without being diagnosed was a surgery to remove my thyroid in total. After the surgery Matt and I went on a quest to teach me how to appropriately problem solve, how to treat other people and how to stop blaming others for my actions. I decided that it would be way too easy to say that this disease caused me to act horrible and give me a free ticket, instead I have promised to do everything I can to run with this clear head and be the best person I can imagine being.
In September of 2012 we were married, and 3 weeks into our married life we found out that Lucy was on the way and in what feels like a whirlwind 3 years later We have welcomed Oliver as well.
I spend so much time talking about our rocky start because it truly formed our marriage and our reactions to each other, we are learning everyday how to treat each other and how to fight fair. How to be the best parents, spouses and humans we know how to be. This is a learning process this is a life change. It is worth it. This next year we have goals to travel, to hike, to do things we have never done before because our drama is finally at a reasonable level. It would have been so easy for Matt to cut ties and run long before we were married and I gave him plenty of opportunity to do so, but he stayed. Somehow he saw what potential there was in our relationship and he stuck with me, I have promised to myself, I won’t let him regret it.